do you solemnly swear to stay in your lane, your whole lane, and nothing but your lane

tatehorror:

*rebels cautiously*

no-brightness-to-show:

This band is too fucking real

no-brightness-to-show:

This band is too fucking real

lindseybluth:

i hate spotify ads because i listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing lebron james say “i’ll tell you what makes me thirsty”

breadmaakesyoufat:

when a group of teenagers walks past you and starts laughing at you for no apparent reason

image

killself:

visiting Yahoo Answers instead of a doctor

Classmate: How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?
Me: How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if no one likes you?

witneyhouston:

me: hi, can i have a large—

starbucks employee: you mean a venti?

me: can we not do this